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Sunday, December 26, 2004

10 Commandments for Kim's Weight Loss

Of course, this diet also leads to the annoyances of following a diet plan. When I first joined WW years ago, I didn't want to tell anyone that I was on it. I felt like it was embarassing to actually admit to someone that I was fat. As I started losing weight, I started trumpeting the virtues of Weight Watchers to anyone that would listen, like a crazy diet missionary. These days, I have less of an issue being embarassed - I've long since stopped caring about that. I just find people's attitudes towards me irritating. In general, I just want people to leave me alone. For example, if I say I can't have something or that I can't visit a particular restaurant, I want them to listen and understand rather than pressure me into going.

Kim's 10 Commandments for Others to Follow with Regards to Her Weight Loss:

  1. Thou shalt not ask her if she has lost weight. Commenting that she HAS lost weight is much better, some people insist on asking me how much I've lost or gained in a particular week (when I was going to weight watchers weigh ins), as if that information was something I wanted everyone to know all the time.
  2. Thou shalt not comment on what she is ordering and/or eating. Comments such as "is that on your diet?" are just stupid. Let me do what I want. I've spent days before saving WW points or calories so I can have a special meal or dessert only to have it ruined by someone questioning whether or not I should be eating it. There are only a couple of circumstances where this is ok: a) you are a nutritionist, b) you have been watching overall what I am eating for every meal for weeks or months and know for sure how many calories I've had during that period, c) I've asked you to keep me from eating something or going overboard.
  3. Thou shalt not guilt trip her into eating. Frankly, this will only really piss me off and despite you forgetting, I will (trust me) remember it in anger for months or even years to come. If the fact that I'm not having a shot of vodka or a slice of cake is ruining your day, you need to seriously adjust your priorities in life. Drinking and desserts are the worst. For some reason, women feel like they can't drink or eat sweets without company and that is just nonsense. If I had saved calories to have a slice of cheesecake, hell or high water couldn't keep me from it.
  4. Thou shalt not exploit the fact that she is dieting. There are people that make a big deal out of what I'm eating. They watch me to see what I'm ordering at a restaurant, sometimes announcing that they want to know what I'm eating before they make a decision. First of all, this is bad because you're only looking at a slice of my eating habits... I might be eating light or heavy based on what I've eaten or plan to eat that day. Other people will announce that I'm dieting, so that meal they'll diet to, to keep me company. Spare me your charity. If you're really dieting, that's great. 9 times out of 10 I'll be your best friend and talk to you all about it. If you're a fraud I'll know it and I'll think you're an idiot.
  5. Thou shalt not try to convert her to your diet plan. Dieting is a personal choice. I put months of planning into joining Weight Watchers, joining a gym, starting the Firm, buying Cathe DVDs, and now possibly doing South Beach. I've likely heard of your diet, possibly have tried it, and you're not going to get me to convert no matter how much you like it. I may talk to you about it, ask you questions, especially if it's new to me, but the second you start to criticize my way of eating or get me to convert, I'll start to think you're an ass.
  6. Thou shalt not tell her she is losing too much weight. This hasn't happened in a while, but it does happen. Trust me, I know my BMI, and I likely know more about nutrition than you do. I've never been anywhere near anorexic, I don't intend to be. Some people are genuinely worried about me when they do this, but I think others just don't like me being smaller than they are. Screw you, I've worked my ass off (literally) and I'm going to enjoy it. Those that are trying to really be nice most likely are just so used to looking at obese people (really look at how many there are in the US!) that they don't know what to do with someone who is thin.
  7. Thou shalt not sneak high-fat or calorie foods into her mouth. If I ask you what is in something, be honest. I can truly tell the difference between sugar free and not sugar free, low fat and full fat cheese and milk, and diet and regular soda. I will hate you forever as well as never trust you again if you offer me plain pasta and it turns out to be plain pasta with a healthy coating of butter.
  8. Thou shalt not assume that because she is on a diet you are on a diet. This one is for Dave. Whenever I announce that I am doing some sort of new WOE (way of eating), he asks what that means to him. Well, I don't know, what does that mean to you? If I'm cooking, I guess you're eating what I'm eating, but that doesn't mean you can't have more of it or something else. If I don't want to go to a certain restaurant, it is not a personal attack on you and if I want to refuse the bread basket at Bertuccis or Olive Garden it is not some sort of personal conspiracy to get you to lose weight. Believe me, I realize that the bread basket has nothing on that Quarter Pounder you had for lunch, so give me the benefit of the doubt and maybe delight in the possbility that you might eventually have an ass-kicking buff and thin wife some day.
  9. Thou shalt not offer loads of food to her disguised as gifts. Don't give me candy, don't get me donuts in the morning, don't save me some ice cream. Just DON'T. If it hurts your feelings because I don't accept it, it's your fault for breaking the 9th commandment. You can ask, I'll probably turn you down, you'll get all pouty and I'll continue thinking to myself that you're insensitive.
  10. Thou shalt remember that no means no. If I say no, I don't want ice cream, that means NO, I DON'T WANT ICE CREAM, YOU FOOD-PUSHING ASS! So stop asking. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not going to waste away to nothing and I won't think more of you if I do eat whatever it is you're trying to get me to eat. I'll think less of you and possibly even daydream about ways to beat you senseless.


I'm waffling back and forth about whether or not to go on the South Beach Diet. To people that know me, it must come as a surprise that I'd even consider a fad diet - I have always been so strongly against them. However, I've been doing some reading and I've come to the decision that South Beach really isn't so bad, it does promote a healthy way of living. My "eat sensibly" approach is good, but sometimes you just need rules. Regardless, I'm not starting SB this week because of New Years. I am working hard to eat sensibly, though, and if I see a pound or two lost this week I'll most likely go ahead and stick with this method.

Stuff I need to do:

  1. Eat right - I can make mistakes, but for the most part this horrible eating and caving to peer pressure needs to stop.
  2. Wake up - I need to get up in the morning, which will allow me to prepare dinner in the crockpot if necessary, work out, and get a breakfast and/or lunch together so I'm not trying to eat out of the vending machine every day.
  3. Watch lunches - They kill me, I need to stop going out everyday. I'm going to eat in at least twice per week. If it requires me to go back to disgusting Lean Cuisines, so be it.
  4. Make dinners/go grocery shopping - so that dinners are not so bad
  5. Work out - I must stick with it. A minimum of 3 weight workouts and 2 cardios per week - I am going to try and workout for at least 20-30 minutes per day everyday even if it's just a walk around the block.

Sounds good... maybe I don't need SB after all. I'm going to shoot for a pound per week, which should get me to my goal weight by June or July - a long time, but it will be worth it. This time it's real!

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