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Tuesday, May 15, 2007


2/16/2010: Google is removing its "Pages" functionality and replacing it with "Sites."  Sites does not fit my needs as far as integrating into Blogger, so I won't be using it.  At least, right now.  However, they have started allowing "Pages" within Blogger, which is functionality that Wordpress has had for a while and has been sorely missing from Blogger.  I'm converting everything that was once in Pages over to Blogger, either as blog posts or as pages (they have a limit to how many pages they will allow).  So, here is an old post from there.  

Some background:  Before we were together, Todd was dating someone else.  Not much of a surprise, as he is super-hot.  She and I had once been friends, but we'd had a falling out about a year and a half before she and Todd broke up.  However, she still felt like she wanted to be with Todd, and she still felt like I somehow betrayed her by dating Todd - despite the fact that she'd been horrible to me, and we hadn't been on speaking terms in over 18 months.  Looking back now, it seems ridiculous that she thought I'd give up any potential happiness in order to please her.  Anyway, she continued texting, IMing, and emailing Todd for a full year after they broke up.  She followed me on my blog, she forwarded posts around, and she generally acted like a stalker.  She would use the things I wrote about to contact Todd and "prove" that he was somehow a horrible person for being with me.

So, she started stalking a page on Google pages that I hadn't even published yet - she found it  by trolling my web stats, which are now private.  I replaced that page with this one, and here it is, fully preserved.

Sunday, on my way home from vacation, I wrote up my vacation journal in notepad.  Yesterday morning (May 14), I began working on publishing it to this URL.  This URL was not linked to anything.  It was too new for google to have added it to its search engine.  I emailed it to no one, told no one about it.

Yet, I started getting hits from directly to this URL within an hour of beginning to post it and work on it.  How is that possible?  Well, I had web statistics linked from my blog that were available to read and this page had a hit counter on it.  That means that someone from [Domain Redacted] was trolling my webstats, just watching them and waiting for me to post something new.   Hits from [Domain Redacted] started pouring in.

Then, guess what?  More hits directly to this URL from other domains.  [Domain Redacted] was one.  Comcast in Severn was another.  Was this person emailing this link out to people?  Why would she?  Then, a certain person that works for [Company Redacted] started IMing Todd about how he has no imagination, how she thinks we're "pathetic" and I'm a whore.  I want to make it clear that these IMs came in with absolutely no contact from either of us - completely initiated by her. 

They broke up a year ago.  I shouldn't have to hide everything, make my blog private, remove my web stats.  She should move on.  If you are her friend and she emailed you this URL, help her.  I just want her to leave me alone.  I've asked many times and so has Todd.  It hasn't worked.  Bonaire was great, I had a great time.  We went there so that Todd could finally share it with the right person.  It's true - we did a lot of the same things this year that he did last year.  The place was right, the hotel was right, the diving was right... his travel companion last year was what was wrong.  She even admitted in an email to Todd today that last year's trip was a terrible experience.

What she also said was pretty much that she has no intention of stopping the stalking.  As long as I have an internet presence, she will find it and she will read it.  I can try to hide it all I want to, but she will find a way to get at us, to find out what we're doing, and to contact us to share her input.  Forever.  That's a lot of wasted energy, especially for someone who claims to be so happy and better off now.  I ask you... who is the pathetic one?  When I picture her, I see someone so caught up in her hatred that it will eventually destroy her.  She hurts herself by seeking this information out... and there is nothing more I can do if she insists on basking in her own misery.

Seriously, move on.   It will be for the best.

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