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Monday, June 11, 2007

Wardrobe Update: Swimwear

Yes, I bought that bathing suit like 2 weeks ago. I ordered it directly from Speedo. This was stupid, as they still haven't shipped it. I'm irritated and can't seem to cancel the order either, so that swimsuit will remain a mere figment of my imagination.

I went to Dick's today because I was figuring that I would need to try on a swimsuit anyway. I hate trying on swimsuits. Here comes a little self-loathing and humiliation writing up ahead.

I tried on this suit...

It's the same basic suit as I bought from speedo, but a little more stylish and I tried on one that was one size smaller than the one that I actually ordered. It was clear from this experience that the size I ordered is either the right size or closer to it because the one I tried on seemed shocked by the enormousness of my boobies, and it was clearly straining to hold them in. No, I'm not going to fall out of them, but I would be uncomfortable with the speedo death grip going on.

Next came this little number from Nike...
I had seen this suit on the web and I LOVED it and I was quite pleased to see it in the store. I also loved it on the hanger. I showed my shopping buddy, who gave it a thumbs down. I had to agree, but I needed a second opinion because I had liked it so much before I put it on. On the hanger, it seemed like it would say "I am athletic but stylish. I like to workout and swim and I am a tough swimming chick." However, once I put it on, it said "Look! A pretty green and black casing on this overstuffed sausage! How about you grill this one up with some peppers and onions?" It looks good in the picture, though, doesn't it?

I did buy one, because there was one that fit reasonably ok and wasn't too embarassing to wear. I can't find it on the internet, though, so I'll just say it's a blue tankini. I didn't have any time to try anymore on, because it was my lunch break.

I hate buying bathing suits. You have a small window of time to find them, then they don't have your size, or you look like a beached whale. I have a lot of shit to worry about - large boobies, big hips, fat, ginormous scar that I at least attempt to cover. I made a decision today that the scar is the least of those issues, so it will be sticking out just a tad with the new suit. If someone has a problem with it, they can kiss my ass.

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