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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Review; New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

I tried, guys. I really did. I mean, I read Twilight thinking that it had horrible flaws and had a bad plot, but in general I thought it was ok. It was a page turner. It kept me interested. It was good enough to give me faith that the second book in the series would be better, and that I would enjoy it more.

No, it was worse than the first book. It took all of the aspects that I hated in the first book - the immaturity, the whining about teenage love - it was tripled in this book. I know that there are people that love this series - adults that love this series. I just don't see it. Please, come on and defend it. Tell me what awesome thing I am missing about this book. I wanted to like it, I really did. I did not.

******************************* SPOILERS ************************************

I go on now to just spoil the whole thing because if you're gonna love the Twilight series, then you've read them already and if you aren't going to enjoy it, you won't care if I spoil them.

When we last left Bella and Edward, they were blissfully in love and everything was just perfect with them. So, when the book opens, it's several months later and everything still is just great. Edward throws Bella a birthday party, and all of the vampires are really excited about it because they never get to celebrate birthdays of their own. It all goes horribly wrong though, and Bella basically is nearly eaten by members of Edward's family (yum!). Edward then decides that the best thing to do is to leave Bella, tell her he doesn't love her, and disappear out of her life forever.

If this display of immaturity and decision making on Edward's part was enough, there is more! I mean, in a true adult relationship, Edward and Bella could have talked about things and possibly worked them out. Deception would not have been necessary. However, Edward's maturity level is apparently still 17, even though he's much older than that, really. Bella ends up displaying her own childish traits by becoming nearly catatonic. She doesn't speak to anyone, abandons her friends, and just goes through the motions of life, unable to truly "live" without Edward. She does this for - I kid you not - MONTHS. MONTHS. You know, because that is what we want to be telling our teenage girls - life is nothing without your man!

So, she befriends Jacob Black, who really likes her. She does this because she realizes that when she does truly dangerous things, she can "hear" Edward. She wants Jacob to help her fix up some motorcycles so that she can be a daredevil (and hear Edward) and does increasingly dangerous things in order to hear his voice. All the while, she leads Jacob on and only comes out of her post-Edward funk because of him. This is all because, once again, a girl is not complete without her man. Bella still wanders around like in the first book, with no ambition that doesn't revolve around Edward, and with no real hobbies. If you ask me, Jacob is better for her anyway.

But, I digress. Jacob avoids Bella for a while, and Bella is again distraught. Then - get this - the coincidence of all coincidences - we find out that Jacob has been avoiding Bella because... wait for it... he's a WEREWOLF!!!! OMG. It's better than the sparkling vampires. Get this, too - werewolves HATE vampires. They're mortal enemies of each other! LOL LOL LOL LOL! The ridiculousness of this doesn't end. (And let's not forget that I love Harry Potter, so I hope you see that there is a difference in plot and characters and just everything).

So, after all of this, Bella decides to hear Edward again by jumping off a cliff. Edward's sister thinks she killed herself (as she can see what's going on - that's her "power"), and Edward ends up trying to kill himself, too. It's oh-so-Romeo and Juliet, and Meyer goes so far as to plainly show us this because Bella realizes it herself. I mean, Meyer thinks we don't get it, so she makes it obvious. Did I mention the poor writing? It's all nonsense.

You know what, I don't even feel like summarizing the rest. Suffice it to say that Bella goes and stops Edward, while still putting everybody in danger, and Edward realizes he can't live without her, and Jacob and Edward hate each other, and blah blah blah.

I didn't want to summarize because once I got to that part of the book, it was too much and I just couldn't do it anymore. The book sat on my nightstand for weeks with the bookmark in the Epilogue, and I still couldn't drag myself to just finish the damn thing. It was horrible.

I will not be reading the rest of the series. Somebody help me out and let me borrow copies of that other vampire series.

*** Edited to Add:  Todd brought something up with me that has made me curious.  What happens when Bella is on her period?  Any thoughts?  Is this addressed in a later book?  If not, let's discuss.


Dawn said...

This whole series infuriated me so much that I sold the books on Craiglist same day.

Twilight was tolerable. New Moon ABISMAL. Eclipse was OK and only because of Jacob and there was some actual action.

Breaking Dawn broke me.... and all talk no action. It was so pathetic. Renesmee, half human half vampire baby and Bella's power was a protective force field. GIVE ME A BREAK

Kim said...

I hear you. I felt the same way - I actually kind of tolerated Twilight. I thought it was ridiculous, but I read the second one so clearly I thought it might get better. And yes, New Moon was really awful.

I will say this though - I am not opposed to purchasing the audiobook of Eclipse and taking it on runs with me, as I think it would be fairly easy to pay attention to...

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