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Thursday, October 21, 2010

On Friendships

I read this interesting article (ok, it was from AARP Magazine, not one of my regular reads...) about Betty White, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Kristen Bell.  First of all, they are three awesome women, but there was one quote from Betty White that really stood out:

I'm still bleeding over losing Ruesy [the late actress and Golden Girls costar Rue McClanahan], who was my dear friend. But as much as I love my friends, I wouldn't think of going out to lunch with a woman. I can't think of anything less interesting, except hen parties and showers — and I avoid them like the plague.

This is so me!!!  I feel a little less crazy now.  It's not that I don't love my girlfriends, I just don't love all-women parties and gatherings.  I've had a few friends now try to get me to "girls nights,"  etc, and I just am not interested.  I do go to showers though... although I admit, they are not my favorite way to pass the time.

I do love my friends, but more than anything I love going out and hanging out as a couple, because then my very best friend can be involved.  You know, my husband...

I love you, though, ladies, I really do!


James said...

I've noticed the trend of gender segregated parties becoming more common than "couples" parties. Soon, couples won't do anything together. What happen to couples night out?

marathonmaiden said...

i agree! i hate it when it's a ladies only get together because it seems to always turn into a gossip/bitch fest. i LOVE my girlfriends to death too but man, i don't want drama! hahaha

Staci Dombroski said...

That is a funny quote! Have a great weekend :)

Anonymous said...

Stowebound agrees... i am so happy to hear other people feel the same way. i married Steve because i like his company. i hate going to something that he is not welcome at and he feels the same way. i have noticed that more and more people are doing wedding showers and baby showers that are couples.

Mary said...

you know, I think that quote from Betty White is fairly disturbing. I think I kind of don't really get characterizing a whole gender one way or another, so I don't really understand why someone would make decisions about how to handle a friendship based on the friend's gender. I get along really well with some women and some groups of women and not others; the same is true of some men. My interest in getting together with any group is based on whether I like them, not whether it's a group of men or women.

I do like spending most of my free time with Nick, so I can't say that I'd be all that interested in a regular social outing that cut into that time, but, on an occasional basis, I do like getting one-on-one time with friends. The same is true for Nick. The fact of the matter is that we each have friends where the friendship is based on shared history or interests that we don't share with each other. So, we try to give each other that space to still have those friendships without the other person being bored all the time.

Kim said...

Well, I do think we characterize friendships differently based on gender. My friendships with men are undeniably different than those of women, just because I think there are different expectations for each. That doesn't mean that there aren't different shades of friendships within those, though.

I think I consider get togethers with groups of women differently than those that are mixed gender. As a general rule, there are a lot of traditionally female parties that I just don't enjoy as much as other types of activities. That means that in a given time period, if I'm only going to have X amount of quality time with Todd, I might only want to give up Y amount of that time to other things. That doesn't mean that I never go to female only things or even that I totally never have a good time when I do (I actually *would* consider lunch with a woman, but that being said, I also have a tougher time with one-on-one conversation no matter who the person is, but that's a whole other story).

There are some maddening groups of ladies out there, and I do think, as a general rule, I end up more comfortable when I'm not in all-female company. Maybe I'm just more insecure as a woman, I don't know.

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