I've spent the last several months (basically since April 2011) working on intuitive eating. I've been trying basically to not count calories or diet anymore. If I want cake at work because it's someones birthday, I eat cake. I pay attention to how I feel, and I eat the food that my body needs, and often what it wants. I've been pleased with the results - I first lost 6 pounds, and then I stayed within a 4-pound range of weights for 9 months. I was almost smug about my non-dieting self.
When I gained a few pounds in December, I didn't sweat it. It was part of the plan, and I was exercising like crazy. I would take the pounds off in January. And I did, briefly. I was back at the top of my prized 4-pound range right before I left for Florida to run the Walt Disney World Marathon Relay. But, when I returned, I was back up again, and I haven't been back down since. Instead, I've been staying within a new 4-pound range, where the lowest number is one number higher than my previous 4-pound range. So, I guess that means I've gained 4 pounds.
My clothes fit the same, and I've been exercising a lot. Instead of the 3 days of running that I was practicing all summer and through November, I am now doing 3 days of running (less mileage than the summer), two days of swimming, one hour weight training session and two 20-minute weight training sessions, and an hour of yoga per week. That's a lot more exercising. In fact, when I was measured at the gym, I had actually lost inches even though I'd gained pounds.
I shouldn't be concerned about this at all. According to the principles that I adopted almost a year ago, I don't care what my weight is, my body will decide at what weight I am happy and healthy. I probably shouldn't be weighing myself at all. In fact, those first couple of months last year, I only weighed myself once a month rather than daily. Still, that weight thing is still there. I still care. I still want to lose.
I've been contemplating going back on to a calorie restricted diet, counting again, doing all of that stuff. I keep telling myself it would be quick, and it would only be to lose the 4 pounds.
Why, though? I am mad at myself for even thinking about this. I mean, nobody would know that I've gained weight if I hadn't mentioned it. Like I said, my clothes still fit like they did before.
I've just got this head trauma and I wish I didn't worry about it so much. I really, truly, want to just blissfully go through life eating without worries and not caring about what I weigh or how I look. The number on the scale shouldn't matter, so why worry about it?
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