Thursday, December 6, 2012
The thing is, unlike in Hollywood, you don't just get a baby bump and stay the same everywhere else. You grow in all sorts of places. I admit, I'm not really sure how well it all goes back to where it was, and it is freaking me out a little bit.
I'm in my 16th week of pregnancy. So far, it's really hard to tell if I'm pregnant or if I am just really packing on the pounds. Earlier this year, I had put on some weight because of my thyroid acting up (as a result of going off of the pill), and so I was already in my "fat pants." I decided not to actively try to lose the weight that I'd gained since I had gotten my thyroid to stabilize at the weight that I was, and if I lost weight I would just swing in the opposite direction and be hyperthyroid.
So, I am wearing maternity pants. Holy crap, they are comfortable. I want to wear maternity pants forever. I will still occasionally wear non-maternity pants with a rubber band keeping them "buttoned", but maternity pants are the bomb. I've also really been rocking dresses, because they're the best fitting things right now. And when I wear a high waisted dress or shirt - woa, I really do look pregnant. I do wish that I looked pregnant all the time, though. It's still pretty easy for me to hide my bump if I want to.
So, given my normal struggles with food and body image, how's all of this going for me?
Like I said, I am struggling with the changes that my body is going through, just from the standpoint that it seems like it's just doing a bunch of crazy stuff all on it's own. I compare it to the movie Independence Day, where they had the UFO in Area 51 and they'd been studying it for years, but then the alien ships showed up and it lit up and started actually doing stuff? Yeah, that's my body. For 34 years, it has been what I know and love and been pretty standard. Now? Totally, it's off on its own doing its own thing. Parts of my body seem to suddenly have a purpose when they had none before. It's just... well, I'm just not used to it. And there's a lot more in store, I know. I thought since pregnancy is a natural thing and all, I wouldn't be as surprised as I am by all of this.
In the meantime, I'm doing my best to eat right. The great news is that I am not craving junk food or milkshakes or things like that. What am I craving? Nothing. I have been thinking for years and years that I have such crazy cravings normally, that, woa, what will happen when I get pregnant? Answer? I will crave the opposite and just generally not want anything, and yet be ravenously hungry at least every 2 hours. I dislike chicken and broccoli. My sweet tooth is basically gone, and while the first 2 weeks of not having booze was heartbreaking (sorry, it was), I've gotten used to it. I've also found a great winery that makes dealcoholized wine, which has really helped me out. Naturally, I found out I was pregnant less than 48 hours after buying 12 bottles of wine at the Maryland Wine Festival, but Todd's been taking care of those on my behalf.
So, with all of this together, I have found it so much easier to follow intuitive eating when I'm eating for two. Taking the whole pressure from society to be thin thing away has really helped. Now, if only I could carry this over to my non-pregnancy self... Still, eating has become the most difficult thing about pregnancy. Trying to figure out what I want, judge if it's ok for me and for the baby, and then actually acquire that food and then eat it is not easy. I've only gained 3 pounds (officially according the doctor, but that last weight was taken the day after Thanksgiving). I'm not even at my highest weight for 2012 (I weighed more in May when my thyroid problems were at their peak). But, my body shape has changed a lot.
I am excited to see where these changes take me, and I am pretty excited to see my family over the holidays. My sisters are super excited about the baby, and my mother-in-law is over the moon. :)
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